Travelling with me is always
a handful an adventure – I thought I’d write down what goes through my mind on a typical trip through the airport. Prepare yourself for travel craziness!
1. Have I packed everything?
2. Have I packed too much? Is this hand luggage really going to fit into that tiny little hand luggage box low cost airlines have to check the size?
3. Passport? Where’s my passport? Oh god I’ve lost it, that it’s I can’t go. Oh! There it is, phew.
4. Tickets, tickets… Tickets? Okay tickets. Got the tickets. Pop them safely inside my passport.
5. Liquids bag, all my little liquid essentials are
packed RAMMED into this dainty little bag.
6. Will the dainty little bag split? What happens then? Will I be able to take my make up and perfume with me?
7. How am I going to fit my handbag into my hand luggage which is literally bursting at the seams?
8. Security time. What if they find something on me?! What if they think I’m a terrorist or I’m trying to smuggle something back?!
9. Attempting to take everything out/off needed for security. I don’t have enough hands to hold all of this! Gahhhhh!
10. Belt off, pockets emptied, glasses off, liquids bag out, electronics out. Quick pat down to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.
11. Please don’t beep. Please please don’t beep. Please don’t frisk me.
12. Okay, good. I’m not a terrorist. Please let my suitcase go through. Why are they slowing down on my suitcase through the x-Ray machine? Oh god, what if something was put in my case whilst unattended. Have I left my case unattended at any moment on this journey? What if they were stealthy smuggling ninjas?!
13. Oh good, suitcase through. Now let’s put everything back into the suitcase.
14. How did I manage to get it all in in the first place?
15. Passport? Tickets? Where?! …
16. Duty free. Hello duty free. If only I could buy all of the pretty things you have to offer.
17. Wifi! Free wifi?! Yes please. Oh… It’s only for an hour. Let’s be sensible here. Be careful with what you use this free wifi on Peta, once it’s gone. It gone.
18. Cup of tea please. Why do you spell my name wrong every time 🙁
19. The gate doesn’t open for 2 hours you say… May as well go for a little wander around the shops then.
20. Oh god gate closing?! Run Peta Run!!
21. Am I allowed to take a photo of the plane for Instagram? Who knows…YOLO
22. I will jam the essentials into the little stringy pocket in front of my seat. Who knows when I could need my wallet, lip balm, mobile, book, bottle of water, passport, extra jumper, magazine or snack.
23. Ok I’m on. Everything’s done. I’m ready. Seat belt buckled. Maybe I’ll have a sassy little nap, maybe I’ll gaze dreamily into the distance watching the clouds below me.
Or maybe I’ll order a cup of tea and then decide I need the toilet, I’ll annoy the two strangers next to me while I chat about nothing in particular, get my bag out of the overhead locker and take everything I own out of it. That sounds more like it.
The life and times of travelling with Peta…